The Big Picture
I like to look down when I run. I find it's protective and it keeps me relaxed. My eyes are usually down cast about 2 feet ahead of me and I focus on relaxing them, half closed. When I look up and ahead I feel, somehow, overstimulated and overwhelmed. I see how far I have to go and I get irritated and slow down my pace out of frustration thinking I can't go further. Today I had a change in my belief of how I view the big picture of my running and exercise times.
I decided to go running at dusk- my favorite time of day. I love to go to the Astoria Park's racetrack, running with the track's bright lights as the sun is setting. It's true I do love to be in front of bright lights- it reminds me of being on the stage. :) Today was the first time I went running in a few weeks. It is my attempt to regain a running schedule. Tonight, I was feeling good and relaxed about my run and so I looked up. I enjoyed the other runners energy and the sky was so beautiful with the Robert F. Kennedy bridge over the expansive park. I felt different than I usually do. I didn't feel overwhelmed, but happy to be included in a workout shared by others working just as hard. It was nice to feel connected and I felt gratitude toward my surroundings and experience. Suddenly my run was about being involved and connected- not about how many laps I had left, or how tired I was. I tend to go through life always trying to get "there". Tonight I learned that letting go and enjoying my experience is far more enjoyable then stressing about how long it will take me and how much exertion I have to expend. My job is to enjoy what has been given to me in the present moment and to use it fully so I can be ready for the next. It reminds me of a quote I keep near and dear to my heart. "The choices I make in this moment will determine the freedom I have in the next. Make the right choices now in order to have the opportunity to choose in the future" ~Erwin Mcmanus